Flower Girl Guide
“Though she be but little, she is fierce.”
Shakespeare’s oft quoted line perfectly captures the flower girl’s place in wedding planning. While bridesmaid duties are well-documented, many brides-to-be are more uncertain about the important role that the littlest member of the bridal party plays.
For example, how do you choose your flower girl? Where can I find an age appropriate dress? And what exactly are her duties on the big day? To help answer these questions and more, we’ve broken down everything you need to know about flower girls so that you can make sure the wedding day is magical for both of you!
Choosing Your Flower Girl
Flower girls are usually between the ages of four and seven, but there’s no firm rule. If there’s a nine or ten-year-old girl who’s important to you, you should absolutely have her as part of your wedding! The same goes for younger flower girls. Flower girls younger than four may not be mature enough for the walk down the aisle, but an extra-special niece may be worth the risk! Some brides also opt to have a junior bridesmaid instead of or in addition to a flower girl; a junior bridesmaid is generally between 12 and 16. You may even choose not to have any flower girl at all!
Do you have more than one special little lady in your life? There’s no rule that says you can only have one flower girl! Many brides choose to have two or even three. Since flower girls are usually nieces, cousins, or other close relatives, you’d never want to play favorites or leave someone out. Plus, it can be more fun for them to have a friend to enjoy the day with.
Will you be my flower girl?
You should always confirm with her parents first, but here are our top three ways for popping the question to your flower girl:
1. A Ring Pop!
Who could say no to candy? Place a Ring Pop in a small box along with a small card that reads, “Will you be my flower girl?”
2. Something monogrammed.
A bracelet or necklace engraved with her name and the wedding date is a keepsake she’ll treasure forever.
3. A book.
We love the idea of gifting her with one of the many picture books about flower girls. Especially for younger flower girls, it’s a great way to introduce her to the role she’ll play on your big day!
Flower Girl Dresses
Choosing a dress fit for a little princess is the most fun part of having a flower girl! While it’s always a nice gesture to pay for the dress if you can, the flower girl’s parents traditionally pay for her dress. Try to offer a few options so they can choose something they feel comfortable with.
When it comes to dressing their flower girl, brides have a couple of options. One, the flower girl dress can complement her wedding gown. If you’re wearing a tulle ballgown, choose a similar silhouette for her. Is lace more your style? The flower girl dress can include matching accents. The second option is to dress your flower girl to match your maids. A white dress with a sash in the same color as your bridesmaid dresses is a classic option. Or, choose a dress in the same color palette and fabric as the rest of your bridal party.
Once you have a dress, it’s time to think about flower girl accessories! The perfect pair of sparkly shoes or a flower crown can be just the finishing touch her look needs. And if she’ll be throwing flower petals, a basket is a must!
Prepping Her for Flower Girl Duties
Remember that your flower girl is still just a kid. Try to make the moment fun and memorable for her, but don’t expect her to take on too much responsibility. You can start prepping her in the months ahead of the wedding about how a flower girl behaves and what she will do during the ceremony but avoid putting too much pressure on her and let her bring her personality to the role!
Having more than one flower girl can also help, especially if one of them is very young. Having a slightly older friend or relative there to guide the younger one can keep things running smoothly.
Before you explain too much about her duties on the big day, make sure you know what you want from your flower girl. Will she throw petals or carry a bouquet? Will she walk with a ring bearer or by herself? Ask her what most excites her about being a flower girl to help guide your conversation. Maybe tell her a story about a time when you were a flower girl or act out the wedding with her as you explain.
When & Where to Include Her
As you decide how much or how little to include your flower girl in the wedding festivities, make sure to always talk to her parents first. Your flower girl must be at the ceremony, of course, and you’ll want her to attend the rehearsal to practice for the main event. Her attendance at other wedding events will depend on her age, interest, and the bride’s and her parent’s wishes. Traditionally, the flower girl will also attend the rehearsal dinner and reception. It’s a courtesy to invite her to the bridal shower and to “get ready” with the rest of the wedding party. Again, decide what’s right for your flower girl when it comes to these events. You’ll definitely want to capture your flower girl when she’s all dressed up, so make sure she’s there for pictures!
Tips for the Wedding Day
Traditionally, the flower girl is the last member of the bridal party to walk down the aisle before the bride. Depending on her age, she may stand with the other bridesmaids or sit down with her parents in the audience. If that’s the case, make sure her parents are sitting somewhere she can easily see them and sit with them when she gets to the end of the aisle. You’ll also need to decide if she’ll be a part of the recessional. Again, keep in mind her age and how much she wants to be included.
Last but not least, make sure she has fun! Being a flower girl is an exciting moment in any little girl's life, and it can be just as memorable a day for her as it is for you.